The following is a letter to the editor of a local alternative magizine, written by a dear friend of mine. She just sent me a copy, and I had to put it online.

Letter to the Editor:

I hope that all of you will read this with an open mind; this is ‘my two cents worth’ about what I see going on in our society. I will not say that it is bad or good; it just is what is, and some of it bugs me. If anyone is offended, I apologize in advance.

I am what is known as a transgendered person, a male to female transsexual. I will do my best to explain my alignment with the rest of the TLBG community.

One of my best friends, a gay man, assisted me in bringing forth my womanhood, if you will. I have had a couple of gay and lesbian roommates, and lots of gay/les/bi friends. Some of my transgendered friends have asked me why we should align ourselves with the GLB folks. I have even heard “I am not gay, I wouldn’t fit in with or be comfortable around them.”

Other than my sheer delight in experiencing the wonderful diversity of our culture, mine is an ulterior motive: I see the transgendered community having little or no power unless we join the rest of the community. We can read in the news almost every week about the gains that gays and Lesbians are making. I know some very successful gay and lesbian people who are pillars in their cities and professions. And I know one of our greatest local supporters is a Lesbian. Way too often I see legislation brought forth including protections for gays and lesbians, to the exclusion of the transgendered. We have been ‘thrown from the train’ in order to bargain for these rights by the rest of the community.

The reasons for this may not seem obvious, but I tell you....transgendered folk like to take for granted that GLB people know all about us. And maybe they assume that they know all about us, and we know all about them. Maybe this perception is because of a few “drag” performers who work in the limelight of alternative night clubs. These people, while they are a part of our community, represent only a tiny minority of the transgendered. Gay/bi/les people have no more access to information of what we are really like than the rest of society. And they may be hindered by the less than real story that they get from these aforementioned performers. I have also heard the comment from a gay person to a transperson: “I thought you were all guys in dresses.” I have also heard the comment from a TG to a ‘booth’ lesbian: “”butch” are transgendered because you have short hair and wear masculine clothes.” Both statements were made in equal error, through misjudgment.

I didn’t hear these comments ten years ago. I was more like ten weeks ago! How far have we really come in learning about each other? Recently, I was the only TG person at a workshop for the reduction of prejudice and discrimination. Why only me? Apathy? Fear? Who knows. If we don’t begin to embrace one another, how in the world can we expect the rest of society to accept or “tolerate’ us? Are we just as narrow minded as we have judged society to be? I have heard that lesbians hate [gay] men, who hate transsexuals, who hate each other! I have heard post-op TG imply that they are “better” than pre-op or non-op transsexuals. On what basis do we judge a person due to what sexual organs he/she has? I hear some TG people speak with disdain of TG’s who choose to live “stealth,” or in secret that they were at one time in their lives, the other gender. So what? It’s their lives. I have heard one young TGirl say that it gives her the ‘willies’ to hear other young T girls say they would rather earn a living as a sex worker than hand out catsup at McDonald’s. I don’t know about you, but a McDonald’s wage won’t pay all my bills, and I bet it wouldn’t pay yours either. What is going on here? Are we perpetuating society’s mistaken [or not] ideas about us? We are judging each other! Why do members of our ‘family” tolerate or contribute to the damage done by a low class TV show like “Jerry Springer?” For a little cash? That may be worse prostitution for us than being a discreet sex worker. I say do whatever it takes to pay the bills so long as you do no harm. And don’t judge another person and expect not to be judged yourself!

I realize that TG people aren’t perfect people and we all make mistakes. We are all a microcosm of the larger picture of society, and we all represent our community, whether we like it or not. Let’s learn from our mistakes. We have all heard that ancient societies revered the transgendered and even made them shamans and teachers. it is up to us as individuals, and as a displaced minority, to step up to the plate and take our rightful place in society again. Some of us are doing just that, and we need to follow their positive examples. One of our family serves on the St. Pete Pride board of directors; another was a speaker at a main event, and several marched in the promenade. They are all to be commended. No longer can we afford to take things for granted, assuming other people understand us or dislike us. I am constantly amazed by the diversity within our own TG family, and never tire of learning more about us! I am proud to call myself a T. Girl!

Nickie Lee Mc Nichols

This letter was originally published in the December 2005 issue of In Other Words, the Paper for Creative People. All rights are reserved.